


The Space Between Our Fingers Make My Heart Beat Slow *Remake*

by Buttercup_Babyy



Series: Gays in Volleyball shorts [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Cute, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Rare Pair, Volleyball Camp, Volleyball gays, gays, i love them, slight homophobia, these boys dont get enough love, volleyball dorks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-01 05:25:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercup_Babyy/pseuds/Buttercup_Babyy
Summary: "What do you mean?""I don't know what I mean! All I know is that I can't stop thinking about you and that I don't want to!"





	1. The Walking Dead and Butterflies

Thursday  
7:36am

No-one should be awake this early of a morning. It should be considered child abuse. Abuse of our under-developed brains that struggle to work before the tender time of 10am.  
But here we are, standing in front of an obnoxiously yellow bus that the school hired, in the drizzling rain, bags in hand and praying the rain doesn’t fall heavier.  
Ukai is smoking a cigarette -what’s new- by the front gates, seemingly impatient, for the man that is to blame for forgetting the keys to the bus, as he waits for the principle to arrive with the key. Despite Tanaka’s comment about being ‘easily able to hotwire the bus’, followed by Daichi smacking him upside the head with a ‘we get it, you’re a delinquent, don’t give us a reason to put you behind bars’. 

Everyone appears to be in high spirits about the delay, not exactly keen about spending the next few hours in a moving vehicle, some stomping in puddles whilst others talk amongst themselves.

Me? I’m leaning against the cool metal, feeling the droplets of rain water cling to the fabric of my white tee, absolutely horrified to see what the next few hours have in store for me. 

“You’re unusually quiet this morning, Ennoshita.” Kinoshita comes to lean beside me, Narita following his movements and it brings me out of my headspace.

“Just tired,” I mutter, head tilted back, and I close my eyes, remembering the feeling of my bed from only an hour ago. Soft and warm, with the perfectly shaped indent of my body, begging me to return and I’m starting to think I might, volleyball trip be damned. “Is it too late to go home?”

I expect either Kinoshita or Narita to reply, not Ukai, with about as much enthusiasm as a cat being ran over by a lawn mower. “If I’m stuck here, so are you.” His voice shocks me with a chill running down my spine. 

“C-coach?” Ukai flicks his cigarette to the ground, killing what was left of his ember light with the bottom of his scuffed, white sneakers. His shoulders are hunched with the look of scrutiny that he is receiving from the principle, who leans against his car at the far end of the parking lot. He says nothing in return, unlocking the bus and the door folds with a screech, sounding vigorously loud for this time of a morning and I find myself flinching as he disappears into the vehicle. Takeda takes his place at the door, clipboard in hand and beaming with excitement. It exhausts me. 

“Before we get onto the bus, we have a few ground rules to go over-“ He is interrupted by a series of groans, and I notice the way the smile on his face falters, but only for a moment. “Rule number 1-“ Again, Takeda is interrupted, laughter happening loudly behind me and I feel the tension of a headache forming in the back on my head.

“Christ sake, shut up!” The hoarseness in my voice startles even me and my eyes flutter closed, starting to feel strained and I lean back against the bus with the feeling of Takeda’s eyes on me. The sound ceases, by a little, only quiet snickering somewhere around me but I don’t really care where, focusing on breathing deeply to calm my heart that begins to pound so heavily in my chest that I fear it’ll drag me to the floor. 

“Rule number 1-“ And I’m sure Takeda continues to speak, but with my eyes closed and the sound of my heartbeat in my ears, all else is blocked. Breathing calmly is hard when your hairs stand on end and your head aches with tension. I rub the back of the neck, trying to loosen the muscle and I open my eyes, feeling the blindness of the sun directly in them for a moment and I curse, moving to rub them with the heels of my hand. 

Sound shuffles around me, mummers and dragging feet and as I open my eyes, I’m not surprised to find my team-mates piling onto the bus, most of them yawning and bleary eyed while others are wide awake. Suga gives me a kind smile as he passes me, hand reaching out to pat me on the shoulder and I feel like a child, begging for attention without having to say a word at all. One by one, they saunter onto the bus, disappearing and my heart starts again, and the feeling of unease fills my stomach, dread punches me in the gut. 

Please, please don’t vomit this time, I beg myself, making sure to take three deep breaths before climbing onto the bus with shaking legs. I know what’s to come and I need to be alone, I need quiet-

“Ennoshita? Come sit here.” Daichi’s brown eyes meet mine and it’s the Captain look, the one I can’t refuse, so with my backpack over my shoulder and a duffel held so tightly in my hand I fear the skin will bruise, I move towards him. It’s an empty seat in front of him, that’s not bad, and Suga is next to Daichi, so they’ll get bored of me and talk to each other, so I can panic in silence and – 

Oh.

They want me as a babysitter. 

Tanaka sits against the window, legs pulled up and sulking like an absolute child, arms over his chest and his lip puffed out. Daichi eyes me down as I sit, breathing through my nose and avoiding looking at Tanaka, who appears to be doing the same. 

“Isn’t this exciting boys, two weeks at Nekoma! Training and spending quality time as a team!” Suga seems sincere, almost like he’s looking forward to spending hours on a metal death trap. I’m sure the trip will be exciting, once we reach our destination. 

I open my backpack, ready to grab my phone and earphones when my stomach drops.  
The bus moves, roaring beneath me and the feeling of uneasiness rises up to my throat and my hands grip the closest thing to me, which just happens to be Tanaka’s leg.

“What the-“ Tanaka flails, looking at me in complete confusion while my other hand grips the underside of the seat, knuckles turning a translucent shade of white with the grip and my head is filled with the roar of the motor, sweat breaking on my forehead and I am scared. 

I can feel Suga and Daichi glance at me, but when I don’t move for the next minute – or longer, I have no clue – they continue to discuss strategy for gameplay. 

Easy does it, Chikara. It’s just a car. A car that is moving. With 16 people on it, including yourself, but that’s okay because Ukai is an experienced driver and oh my gosh he just ran a red light! But it’s okay, it’s just a car. A car. We’re safe. 

“Woah, is that The Walking Dead?” I don’t look away from the back of the seat as Tanaka reaches into my open backpack, grabbing what is indeed my The Walking Dead comic. In mint condition, that is probably being destroyed in his hands, the first comic I ever bought. 

“Whoa, this is so cool!” Tanaka flicks through the pages excitedly, and if I weren’t worried about my inevitable death, I would be crook about his fingers creating harsh indents in the straight pages. Dear God, I am going to die today aren’t I? 

“Chika?” Chika? Tanaka only calls me that when he’s feeling…what word would I use? Worried? Intimate? Human? All of the above? My eyes rise from where his fingers have stilled, up to his face. Being taller than me, his eyes are downcast, lashes long enough that they fan his cheek and my heart jumps into my throat. How have I never realised how grey his eyes are before? Or how long his lashes are? “Chika, are you okay?”

My mouth feels too dry, and I might have taken a drink of water if I could move, one hand still locked on Tanaka’s knee and the other under the seat, clinging onto both for dear life. Instead of replying, I give a small and firm nod of my head, which appears to be enough as his lips part in a wide smile, exposing his gleaming teeth. 

“Did you know that I’ve watched all of The Walking Dead? My mum doesn’t approve of it, she thinks it has too much gore but Saeko downloads it for me, so I can watch it without mum knowing. Saeko even bought me this comic once, but my mum found it and literally set it on fire to teach me a lesson, something about listening to her, not too sure, I wasn’t really listening-“ I can feel my heartbeat slow to a steady thrum, my fingers - which were clamped in fear - are now relaxed, still holding on, but no-where near as tight and I realise what he is doing. Tanaka is rambling, talking about absolutely nothing at all, to calm me down. Oddly enough, it’s working. 

“She set it on fire?” My voice may be quiet, still slightly shaking and a little hoarse, but the sound is enough to stop Tanka’s story, and his smile – the one that was wide before – grows wider and I’m afraid his face will split in half. 

“Oh yeah, my mum is a crazy son of a bitch, does crazy shit like that all the time. Once, she stabbed Saeko with a fork because she snuck out after curfew,” It’s crazy that in most homes, that would be considered child abuse, but Tanaka laughs like it’s a normal day in his household, and it probably is. His laugh is boisterous, loud enough that some conversations halt for a moment before continuing, his hands wrap around his stomach, probably remembering the moment clearly and I should care that my comic is getting wrinkled in his reckless hands, but I don’t. There is something about Tanaka’s laugh that stirs my stomach, something almost like…butterflies?

Tanaka continues to talk, hands moving rapidly in time with his story and I lose track with what he is saying. I feel like I am watching the scene in front of me with a blurry vision, hearing my blood pumping in my ears, thoughts racing through my head so fast that I can’t grasp them all. Why do I suddenly have butterflies? Why can’t my heart stop racing? Is the bus even moving? Of course it is, maybe that’s why my heart is playing up? Yeah! And they’re not butterflies, they’re just a reaction to motion sickness, right? Dear God, Tanaka has nice hands. What am I saying? Nice hands?! Where the hell did that come from? 

Looking up I see that Tanaka has stopped, watching me closely and those damn grey eyes peering at me make me want to curl in on myself and die. What is happening?

“How come no-one noticed you don’t like cars?” He reminds me of a Labrador, head tilted slightly to the side and I am sure that if he had any, his ears would be perked. 

I find enough movement in my locked muscles to give a small shrug of my shoulders, looking towards my hands, which has moved from Tanaka’s leg to join my other hand with clutching the underside of the seat. When did that happen? 

“I normally sit alone.” The words barely manage to escape my lips before we go over a bump, sending me thrashing into Tanaka’s side. Instead of cursing at the added weight, he laughs, the sound so sweet to hear and I wanna kick myself.

“Don’t worry about it, Chika. You won’t have to be sitting on busses alone again.” With the way he smiles at me, God help us all.

\- - 

I wake to the sound of a shutter, vision blurry and my head is groggy, un-aware of what’s happening around me. For a moment. The bus has stopped, and how I fell asleep on the death trap is a mystery, not even remembering falling asleep in the first place. I find myself looking at Suga, who stands in front of me, and with the morning glow coming through the window behind him, I almost confuse him for an Angel. 

“You guys looked too cute, I couldn’t resist.” What? 

Suga places a phone into my hands and I recognise it as my own, the screen alive with an image of Tanaka and I. His head is on my shoulder, my head fallen to rest atop of his, his arm is laid over my lap, fingers still brushed against the comic that had fallen onto my lap, pages crinkled. My hands are folded, not so neatly, in my lap, fingers still glued together, as though they pray to make it through and Tanaka’s shirt had risen, exposing tan skin that my eyes are immediately drawn to. 

Beside me, Tanaka stirs, my first reaction is to lock my phone as though I am hiding something dirty and I don’t miss the way Suga’s eyebrow raises in question. 

“When’d we stop?”  
Fuck me, a groggy and sleepy Tanaka is not something I need right now. He sits up, stretching with a groan that makes my toes curl, the heels of his hands rub into his tired eyes, exposing that area of skin once more.  
I stand, aware that my comic drops to the floor but I can’t find myself to care, snatching my bags and running off the bus. I vaguely hear Suga murmuring about “he doesn’t like busses,” most likely excusing my reckless behaviour and I realise we haven’t been stopped for long, the rest of the Karasuno team talking in close-knit groups, while Nekoma High continues around us, students mulling their way to class and I notice the Nekoma Captain having a word with Daichi, looking relaxed, almost amused, whereas Daichi looks like he could kill him and not care that he did it. Nekoma’s captain – Kuroo – glances my way, giving a lopsided smirk and I lower my head, making my way towards Kinoshita and Narita, where they stand under the shade of a nearby tree. 

“Are you okay, Ennoshita?” With worried eyes, Narita glances my way, attracting Kinoshita’s attention.

“Why didn’t you guys wake me?” They laugh between themselves, almost as though they are aware of a secret that I am not.

“You just looked so comfortable, we didn’t want to disturb you.”

“I was not comfortable! I have a kink in my neck!” Kinoshita raises his eyebrow while Narita tries to stifle a laugh behind his hand.

“Whatever you say, Ennoshita.” 

I open my mouth to protest when I am interrupted. 

“You left this on the bus, Chika.” Tanaka appears out of no-where, holding my previously fallen comic and he’s smiling at me, as though his presence isn’t going to create a flood of comments from my friends. Wordlessly, I take the comic from him, careful not to touch his hands and once the sheet is out of his grasp, he flees. 

“You were saying?” Kinoshita is a smug son of a bitch. 

“Shut up-“

“Settle down, settle down!” Takeda arrives, clipboard in hand as he attempts to silence the overly excited team. 

Red and white mixes between blue and orange, creating a sea of colours at the front gates of Nekoma. It is a wonderous view of it all from someone who is simultaneously inside of the group and yet feels so outside of it all. Members talk in excited groups, using big gestures and loud voices, all smiling. In this moment, we are not opposing teams but friends. 

“Nekoma are being very gracious to let us stay here for our training camp. Since we are the first school to arrive, I’m just going to go over some ground rules,” 

Rules. I’m good at those. Keeping boundaries. This all sounds fantastic.

“Rule number 1, do not disrespect or damage Nekoma property. Number 2, we have a 7pm curfew, back to the cabin to shower and to study. Number 3, lights are out by 10pm. Number 4, you must listen to the rules that Ukai or I give you, or there are punishments. Number 5, most importantly, be respectful to each other and to the other teams.” 5 rules. All simple to follow. Follow the rules, Ennoshita and nothing bad will happen. 

“While we wait for the other teams to arrive, I’ll show you where you will be staying.” Unruly black hair, a tall and lean body, lazy Cheshire grin and piercing emerald eyes. Kuroo Tetsuro leads us towards the back of the school, through thick trees that is far away from the base set of classrooms and I find myself in shock. I never knew that Nekoma was so big. To the back of the school, surrounded by fences and trees, are 3 cabins, all neutral in colours and built of panels and windows, all identical. 

“Because I like your captain so much, I’ll give you the middle cabin. It has better showerheads.” At his comment, Daichi seems to almost growl. Literally. There seems to be an air of tension growing at a rapid pace, tension that neither captain seems to want to let go. 

“How about we let Nekoma get back to the front? I’m sure the other teams will be awaiting their hospitality. Besides, we need to organise sleeping arrangements and to get ready for training.” No-one expects me to be the one to break up the awkward silence between teams, and I don’t miss the slight eyebrow raise from Kuroo.

“And what a great captain you will be, Chikara.” Kuroo’s voice is as smooth as velvet as he talks, giving Daichi another once-over before leaving, taking the rest of Nekoma’s trailing team with him. 

“Oh my god, Ennoshita, that was badass!” I don’t hear Nishinoya coming, so his voice suddenly appearing in my ear is enough to make me jump. 

“Don’t get used to it.” I give a short laugh to disguise my unease. In my mind, all I can see is Kuroo’s cat-like eyes watching me as though I’m his next meal. 

Ukai leads us inside the cabin and I can’t help the awe. The walls are a light shade of white, matching the pale wooden floorboards. There is a wide-set hallway that leads to multiple rooms, all sorted with deep brown slider doors. The furniture is rustic, all varying in dark shades of colours. The first door to the left leads to a wide room with an open floor-space, already set up with un-made beds in a row of two, from one edge of the room to the other. 

“We’re all sharing a room?”  
Daichi laughs at the squeak in my voice, giving me a clap on the back of my shoulder. 

“You don’t have a problem with that do you, Ennoshita?” There is a slight tease in his voice and I feel my stomach twist at his words. You have shared rooms with the team before, why is now any different? 

“Course not, captain.” 

“Like you said, time to arrange where we all sleep and to get ready for training.” With a slight push, I am ushered into the room, moving to stand against the back wall, un-sure of where I’m being set up. 

“Hinata, you are sleeping next to Yamaguchi. Tsukishima, you are next and then Kageyama-“ 

“Am I just a human blockade for dumb and dumber?” Tsukishima sounds disinterested as he wraps his headphones, placing them in his bag. 

Daichi simply raises an eyebrow, “Yes. Asahi, you are next to Kageyama and Tanaka is beside you,” I can’t help but release a sigh of relief and the knowledge of that shocks me. Why do I suddenly care if I sleep next to Tanaka or not? 

“I’ll sleep closest to the door, Suga will be next to me, Kinoshita you are next, then Narita, Nishinoya and then lastly, Ennoshita.” At the end of this, everyone moves towards where they are stationed, pulling bedding from their bags and I join them, pulling my simple red quilt out of my bag and fanning it over the bed when Nishinoya joins me.

“Hi bed buddy!” Instead of making his bed, he drops his bag and sits down, watching me as I make my own.

“You do know we aren’t meant to share the bed, right?” Nishinoya laughs at this, louder than he should be and he waves me off.

“I don’t know, Chika. I’m a pretty hectic cuddler.” 

“I’m sure you are but be warned, if I feel you cuddling up to me at night I might hit you.” This feels simple. Breezy. Just making jokes with Nishinoya. The idea behind it is a little strange, joking around with team-mates. Normally I am quiet, reserved. Being around Nishinoya, it feels okay to make a little more noise, because all anyone is going to be focusing on is the way Nishinoya’s laugh sounds like the whole building could collapse. 

“May you be warned, Ennoshita, that if you hit me, I might wake up begging for a little more.” He winks at me while he chuckles, and I’m torn between that being a joke or a hidden sexual innuendo, but I decide to just shrug it off, pulling out my folded uniform once my bed is made. The room is filled with chatter, sound bouncing off every wall and everyone feels so alive. I can almost hear the blood pumping in all our veins and it’s oddly reassuring. We are a unit, we are here for one reason and that is to become a better team. Focus on that. Some people are taking their time making their bed while others are either changing or already changed. Narita and Kinoshita are standing by the door, already in uniform and talking quietly between the two and it makes me wonder what they are talking about. What do your friends say when you are not there? Do they discuss the weather? Or volleyball techniques? Do they talk about me? No, they wouldn’t. Where is all of this paranoia coming from? 

“You okay, Ennoshita?” Nishinoya’s face appears in my vision, hair sticking in all different directions after taking his shirt off and I can’t stop my eyes from glancing. His skin is pale, nearly white compared to Tanaka’s tan skin, but his body is just as built. His frame is slender but is made of muscle, biceps larger than mine could ever be and his abdomen is solid, having curves in all the right places and it makes me angry at my own body. I’m surrounded by muscular guys with tight bodies whereas mine is soft and squishy to the touch. 

“I’m fine, Nishinoya.” 

“Always so formal, Chikara. Call me Noya, for Christ sakes.” Without giving me a chance to reply, Noya walks away, shrugging his shirt on as he goes, and I am left alone again. I turn away from the team, taking my pants off first so my baggy shirt covers most of my bottom as I jump into my pants, taking a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure no-one is watching before I change into my jersey, finishing the look with my joggers. By the time I am dressed, so is most of the team, leaving out Hinata who got his sweats caught around his ankle and a shirtless Kageyama who yells at him as he helps him. 

“Thank you for before, Ennoshita.” Suga’s voice from beside me causes me to jump into the air, holding the skin above my heart as though the organ will break through my ribcage to escape and a mild scream leaves my throat.

“Why is everyone scaring me today?” Suga only gives a kind smile, one of those smiles that reminds you that the person giving it is too good, too angelic for the world, that we don’t deserve them. 

“I don’t know how long they would of have a throw-down for if you hadn’t intervened. There has always been some tension between the two of them, for reasons both on the court and off. I’m glad you stopped them. It shows that we are leaving captaincy to the right guy.” His words should have been making me squeal with glee, but they bring a feeling of dread into my stomach. If this team fails, it will be all my fault.

“How can you be so sure that you are making the right decision?” 

The thing about Suga is that he doesn’t give you the answer that you want. He gives you the answer that you need, his honest thoughts and it is a trait that deserves a great deal of respect. He doesn’t speak right away, he takes his time, covering his truth with honey and salt before he continues.

“I’m never sure that I am making the right decision. Or that Daichi is, for that matter. All that I know is that you keep proving yourself every day. You always do something to surprise me.”

He isn’t calling me the perfect captain, but he is making me feel better about the whole situation. “Thanks, Suga.” 

And he smiles again, proving that, once again, he is too pure for this world. 

“Let’s get this practice started shall we.” 

\--

Out the front, Aobajosai and Fukurodani have arrived, straggling by the front of their cabins chatting with one another and I can understand the excitement. This place is every volley-ball lover’s dream. The rest of the Karasuno team are doing their stretches as the coaches get re-acquainted, Narita and Kinoshita are beside me, trying to talk to me about the ‘bus situation’ again.

“Nothing happened.”

“Yeah, I’ll believe that when pigs fly.” Narita giggles at his own comment and I roll my eyes as I bend to touch my toes.

“Nothing happened.”

“Then how did you fall asleep?” 

“People fall asleep on transport all the time.”

“But not you, you practically shit yourself every time you go near a car.”

I’m not surprised that both Narita and Kinoshita know about my phobia of moving vehicles and don’t seem to care about it, but the knowledge upsets me at the same time.

“You knew that and yet you never asked if I was okay?”

“You’re a reserved guy. Even if we asked you would lie and say it was fine. Is that what’s happening now? Are you saying nothing happened when something really did?”

“Nothing happened.”

“But you fell asleep?”

“He was telling me stories about his home life until I fell asleep.”

“Were his stories that boring? I bet all he does is play volleyball, eat food and wank off to a photo he has of Kiyoko.” Narita laughs at his own joke, but Kinoshita gives him a slight nudge as I shift uncomfortably at the comment.

“He loves The Walking Dead, but his mum thinks it will turn him into a zombie, so she bans him from watching it. His sister downloads it so he can watch it without her knowing. His life dream is to read all The Walking Dead comics. Also, his mother is psychotic and stabs his sister with a fork.” Both their eyes widen at the statement, growing silent for a moment and I feel slightly smug that I knocked the smiles off their faces. 

“Shit, not so boring life.”

“I bet he still has a photo of Kiyoko that he wanks too.”

The feeling of being smug doesn’t last for very long. 

“Karasuno! Let’s finish the stretches inside the gym!” Takeda instructs, standing by Ukai and the other coaches and as we walk, I can’t help but notice that Tanaka is walking beside Kiyoko. Why is everything to do with Tanaka affecting me suddenly? I didn’t think about him at all yesterday and today I can’t stop? It’s just the bus. He helped you out, he was being a good friend, don’t romanticise it! 

The Nekoma High gym is nearly double the size as Karasuno with two sets of wide double doors along the length of the arena, the exterior is painted a deep shade of red to match the team’s uniform.

The Nekoma High gym is nearly double in size as the one we have at Karasuno, exterior painted a deep shade of red to match the team’s uniform with two sets of wide, black double doors set in the middle of the arena, doors already open and showcasing the masterpiece inside.  
The floor is a dimmed shade of gold that links in with the white walls to the glass ceiling, leaving the sky bare for our view and our limits. There are two courts, both already set up with a basket of volleyballs on the sidelines and a net already set up, benches in place for coaches to sit. 

“This place is awesome!” Nishinoya and Tanaka run in before anyone has a chance to step foot inside, the squeak of their sneakers bouncing off the hollow walls. 

“The two of you should calm down,” Daichi calls as we enter, the rest of us trailing in behind him in a series of awe. Everything about Nekoma is grand compared to the school we call our own. The land is greener, trees are thicker, the buildings are more modern, there is a Palace for visitors to stay and the gymnasium is built like an arena. 

“This place is…” Narita fumbles his words, not quite knowing what to say as he stares at the architecture. Kinoshita is just as in shock, jaw dropped to the floor while he spins in circles.

“Hectic. This place is hectic, for the new-comers at least. It’s hell for us.” For the second time today, Kuroo is in my sights, leaning cockily against the wall behind me, leg kicked up and underneath him, giving him the balance he needs to stand in a way that seems lazy yet elegant all at once.

“Hell? This place is a wet dream for volleyball players!” Tanaka appears almost outraged at Kuroo’s comment, appearing at my side, a little too close for comfort. 

“When you spend as many hours here as we do, the novelty wears off. It becomes a nightmare.” Kuroo shrugs, kicking himself off the wall and into my personal space. I take a step back, stopping short when I feel Tanaka’s hand against the small of my back. My skin comes alive at this touch, starting at the tips of my toes as they curl, a shiver running through my vein like an electric current. This is new.

“Guess that isn’t the only nightmare in this place.” Tanaka is no longer the happy-go-lucky boy running around his dream gym. His voice dropping an octave and turning cold, and I know if I were to look at him, he would be un-recognisable. I feel his hand turn into a fist in my jersey and it almost seems as though he is pulling me closer to him in slow increments, Kuroo’s eyes following every movement happening between us. Narita and Kinoshita appear stunned, frozen in their spots with their mouths agape and I wouldn’t be surprised if my face matched their own. 

“Might want to watch it there, co-captain. You’re stuck here for two weeks. Don’t want to go around making any enemies, do you?” Kuroo’s words send an unpleasant chill through me, sending ice straight into my electric veins. Behind me, Tanaka remains stoic, the rock holding me in place. 

“I can handle myself. Thanks for the advice,” Tanaka pauses and as I glance at him from over my shoulder, I see him looking at Kuroo from head to toe. He has this look on his face, a mixture between a scowl and a grin. He looks intimidating, grey eyes following the males every shift. “Captain.” 

The tension is thick enough that I feel as though I could choke on it, the two of them remaining un-wavered in the stare down and my stomach churns in its discomfort. 

“Thanks for the warning. We’ll see you in practice.” There is no denying the stutter in my voice, it’s clear with my shaking hands that this whole throw-down is making me anxious. Kuroo Tetsuro has emerald green eyes that are daggers when he looks at Tanaka but transform into a muted kitten when he looks at me, and as he throws that lazy grin onto his face, my feeling of unease seems to settle. Slightly. 

“See you on the court, Captain.” 

With that, Kuroo walks away, taking my unease with him and I swear that I almost sag into Tanaka with relief.

“Why does everyone keep calling me that?” Tanaka laughs and it’s a sound that makes me grow warm in the stomach. I want to hear that sound all the time.

“Maybe because you’re going to be captain next year?” I face him, only to realise how close we actually are. My chest is nearly pressed against his, my head stopping at the edge of his nose and I wonder if he can hear the sound of my heart beating? It’s so loud in my ears that it’s deafening. 

“We don’t know that. They could change their mind and make it you.” I attempt to make the statement light-hearted by giving a small laugh, feeling my unease rise again when he doesn’t laugh with me. Instead, he raises his hand and rubs the back of his bald head, shoving his bicep right in my face and good god is that even fair? His bicep is literally perfect! 

“I wouldn’t go counting on that. We all know I’m the muscle and you’re the brains.” 

I step away, being too close to Tanaka right now is making my head spin, and I don’t know if it’s because of the way he is being hard on himself or if he is praising me way too highly. 

“Stretches! Let’s go, Karasuno!” Daich’s voice booms in the gymnasium, attracting all eyes and when I look at him, he is already looking at me. What is happening? This school has some kind of damn curse. Yesterday, no-one looked at me for longer than necessary and I didn’t have weird feelings for Tanaka and today, everyone is looking at me and all I can think about is Tanaka’s laugh and how it makes my stomach feel…things.

Without a word, I leave the conversation and stand by a secluded wall in the corner, so I can see where everyone is, and no-one can catch me by surprise again. Narita and Kinoshita follow me, heads bowed, and they stay silent. We don’t talk about what just happened, nor do we talk about anything at all. They give a glance my way and I am thankful they know it isn’t the time to make jokes at my expense.  
Around us, everyone is happy. Tanaka has been re-joined by Nishinoya and Asahi and he is acting as though nothing has happened as they annoy Kiyoko who is ignoring them and talking to Yachi instead. Hinata and Kageyama are practicing their duo power-move that attracts the attention of the other teams. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi aren’t stretching at all but leaning against the wall while writing in a little notepad, possibly writing weaknesses they’ve spotted in other teams. Daichi and Suga seem to be in a heated discussion as they stretch, and I wonder if it has anything to do with why Daichi was staring at me earlier. 

“It’s almost as though we’ve stepped into an alternate universe or something.” Kinoshita laughs a little at his own joke, his way of lightening the mood and I have to laugh with him. It feels as though I’ve stepped into an alternate universe, and I have no idea what the hell is going on. 

“Ennoshita has two grown men fighting for him, it sounds like the universe I want to be in.” Narita joins in and I roll my eyes, standing upright.

“I don’t have ‘two grown men fighting’ for me. Kuroo was trying to freak out the competition and Tanaka let it go to his head. Nothing to be bashful about. Besides, I’m not interested like that.” Both Narita and Kinoshita look at me as though I’ve said something astonishing and I can feel the heat rise to my face in embarrassment. 

“’Not interested like that?’ Is that just Tanaka or boys in general?” Kinoshita’s question sends a heavy rock to my stomach, dragging my organs out of my body to bleed out over the golden floor. 

“You think that I’m gay?” 

“Have you dated a girl?”

“No but that doesn-“

“Have you ever even looked at a girl romantically?”

“Just because I haven’t looked at a girl like that doesn’t mean I don’t like them-“

“But you like Tanaka?”

“As a friend!”

“You’ve spoken to him more today more than you have in the whole year-“

“Because I got stuck with him on the bus and he helped me out. He’s a friend.”

“A friend that you’ve begun to notice is hot because let’s face it, Tanaka is smoking.”

“He is not-“

“Now you’re just trying to deny the obvious. Tanaka is ripped, I’d love to have him rubbing all over me.”

“Stop saying that!” 

My sexuality isn’t something I’ve dwelled about, I figured that when the time was right, I’d settle for a nice girl, we get married and live in some crappy apartment and I’ll have a minimum wage job and eventually divorce her and leave with our two kids. It wasn’t an ideal plan, or a plan at all but it was something and today is ruining that. Is it possible that the reason I’m so unsettled today is because I’m finally realising? Of course I have noticed that Tanaka is attractive, who wouldn’t notice? He has golden skin greeted with eyes the shade of the ocean before a brewing storm, slender fingers callused with years of practice etched into the skin and lashes long enough to brush his cheek when he looks down at me. Narita has a point, I wouldn’t hate having Tanaka rubbing on me- what are you saying? You, Ennoshita Chikara, are a straight male. Straight. Stop thinking about Tanaka’s body hovering over you – oh my god stop it! 

“Do you think he has just realised he’s gay?” Kinoshita elbows Narita in the side as they stare at me and I’m overwhelmed with the urge to punch him in the throat. 

“I’m not gay.” 

“Sure, and Tanaka is ugly.” I grit my teeth, feeling them grind as I stop myself from saying something I will regret. 

“Karasuno vs Nekoma first, let’s go guys!” Ukai’s voice bellows around the gym, attracting the attention of both teams and my eyes immediately go to Kuroo. He’s already at the net, ready in position and his eyes are lethal, staring down anything in his way. 

Kinoshita, Narita and I move to stand by the coaches as the team gets in position, Kageyama, Hinata, Daichi, Asahi, Tanaka and Tsukishima are on the court, discussing the game plan within the inner circle.

“This is going to be an interesting match.” Suga comes to stand beside me, hands on his waist as he carefully inspects both teams.

“How so?” I can’t help but ask, sneaking a peek his way and doesn’t even attempt to hide his smile.

“I think you know. This team is very protective of each other, we’re a family.” The warning whistle blows, placing team-mates into their game stances and I find myself eagerly leaning forward. How is this going to go? 

It all happens so quickly, Kageyama throwing the ball towards Hinata, who feigns an attack, and Tanaka slams the ball, smacking it to the unprotected spot between Kuroo and Kenma. There’s a chorus of cheers from our team, loud and unifying and a thrill runs through me. That was easy. They already got the first point in .2 seconds. I didn’t realise I was one of the cheers until I see Tanaka looking my way from over his shoulder, smiling from ear to ear and it’s so simple and breathtaking and I want to rip out my insides from how they sing at the sight. 

“Won’t be so easy next time, Karasuno!” A guy with a mohawk calls out, seemingly aggravated with the elevated score. Kuroo pats his chest, whispering words into his ears and that feeling of unease Kuroo took with him returns. 

The whistle blows again, Kageyama setting the ball and this time, Hinata attacks, running with the speed of light from one edge of the court to the other, an impressive move, if it weren’t for Kuroo who dodged it. He slams the ball back with double the force, sending it right to Tanaka who wasn’t expecting the dodge. With great force, the ball thrashes into Tanaka’s shoulder, knocking the wing spiker over. There’s no movement in the gym. So silent that a pin could drop, and we could all hear it. There was a sound as Tanaka fell. Loud and painful. 

“Holy shit,”

“That was hard,”

“Shit, Tanaka,”

“Is he okay?”

Suga places his arm in front of me as I step forward, greeted with the sight of Tanaka standing, shaking off his arm with a determined look on his face. 

“Gonna have to try harder than that to get me to stay down.” His words are dripping with venom and I wonder what the hell is going on. Is this just about before? Or is there something else going on that I don’t know about? 

“Tanaka, we have to get you looked at. You smacked your head as you fell.” Kiyoko is at Tanaka’s side, wrapping her slender fingers around his arm and he doesn’t seem fazed at all. Kiyoko is touching him, and he doesn’t care. Or he doesn’t show that he does. 

“Ennoshita, you’re covering Tanaka. Let’s go!” 

Wait…what? I’m pushed towards the court and I look at Tanaka as he passes me. There’s already a bruise forming on the right side of his chin, the skin clearly aggravated, and a sense of worry comes over me. 

“Are you okay?” Tanaka pauses, stopping Kiyoko in her tracks and he nods, deep in thought as he glances over me.

“Kick their fucking asses, Chikara.” 

And he leaves. Just like that. Walking out of the gymnasium towards the school – I’m assuming to the nurse- and I’m struck. He called you Chikara again! Where is everything coming from? 

The walk to Tanaka’s spot is isolating, everyone speculating, noticing I’m not as built or fit as Tanaka is, nowhere near as good. Speculating because it’s not a secret that I’m being looked at for captaincy next year. I’m the weakest player this team has, and they’ve just put me on the court!

“You alright to do this, Ennoshita?” Daichi is beside me within seconds, head so close to mine I can smell his shampoo. Coconut. I never envisioned Daichi as someone to smell like coconuts – that’s not the point, Ennoshita!

“I’ll be fine.” I feel his hand on my back as he leans in, lips close to my ear.

“They’ll be expecting us to show you off, to startle them and to redeem Tanaka. I need you to act like you’re going up for the attack, make it believable.” I nod. It’s simple enough. Just act like I’m going for the attack, I can do that. 

We get into position and Kuroo is looking right at me, grinning smugly and I feel heat burn through me. He’s been nothing but an ass since we’ve shown up. He’s got some feud with Daichi that’s triggering everyone enough, but now he’s starting one with Tanaka too? Is he just trying to set a feud for the next two captains, keep this ‘tradition’ alive?  
The whistle blows and from the corner of my eye, I see Kageyama set and Hinata run. As the ball gets closer to me, I jump for the attack and they fall for it. Kuroo, Kenma and mohawk jump to block my attack when it’s Hinata that slams the ball into their court, narrowly missing the edge of mohawks fingers as it falls.  
Cheers erupt again, sending sound back into the gym again and I can feel my heart racing. Being on the court is not something I’m used to, being in the game feels almost wrong. I know this isn’t my place and yet I am here anyway. 

“He’ll be right. He’s got a tough head that one,” Nishinoya jumps into my view – literally jumps – and replaces Hinata’s spot beside me. Nishinoya Yuu is not someone I would expect to make my roaring stomach feel better, but he does. Seeing him allows me to breathe. “They’re still going to be expecting you to go. They’ll think the first one was a fake attack and the second is real. Daichi is going to take this one, got it?”

And I do. And they’re right. When I jump for the fake attack, so does Kuroo and Kenma. Daichi knocks the ball into their court and it’s saved by mohawk, sending it back into our court and Noya dives for the ball, spinning over the court floor as he touches it back into the air, Asahi appearing out of no-where and with the force of a God, slams it back into Nekoma’s court, allowing us the score. 

I forgot how good it was to be apart of the team again, to be in the game. My chest heaves with the need for air, my calves already aching from my jumping and my heart is racing. 

“One more attack this way and the next attack is you, they won’t suspect it.” 

The beauty of this is that they don’t. We score two more points this way. A few more with Kageyama and Hinata’s dynamic duo and Asahi’s powerful hits. The match flies by, scores on either side and it gets close, but when we get to 25, Nekoma is at 20. We won the first match. 

\--

Based on Kiyoko’s statistics, we won 60% of our games today. We had another match with Nekoma, in which they won- tying us 1-1. The sky is dark by the time we leave the gymnasium at around 7pm and we all drag ourselves to the makeshift cafeteria we have outside, rice and pork made for dinner. I find myself seated under a tree with a view of both the cabins and the gymnasium, feeling comforted that I can see both. There is a lightness in the conversations being had, no unnecessary anger being thrown around or any more injuries, which is the main thing. 

“You guys did really well today. Won that first game fair and square, I’m pretty impressed actually.” Kuroo finding me again isn’t a surprise although his presence sets me on edge. He sits, not next to me but close enough that it’s obvious we’re in a conversation.

“Thanks.” My response is dry, and I’m figuring out if it was my attitude or the fact I have rice still in my mouth. He stabs his pork a few times, like he’s stuck in thought and I wonder what is going through his head. 

“You probably think I’m this huge jerk, but I’m not. I just have a lot going on and you guys are good. My team needs to step it up if we want to be able to even get close to you guys.”

“You won the second match-“

“That doesn’t matter. We were all on edge and it was our adrenaline that let us win. You guys are good. Accept the praise.”

Then we sit in silence, eating our food and I wonder if I have this all wrong. Is Kuroo really this awful guy? Or was he trying to set an example for his team? There isn’t an excuse, he hurt Tanaka. Tanaka got injured, remember!

” I’m sorry for hurting your friend. I guess I don’t like being shown up. Could you tell him that I’m sorry?” The way that Kuroo looks at me, I can’t help but pity him.

“Sure.” He smiles softly, and it makes my heart feel sad, panging for him as he stands.

“You’re a good guy, Ennoshita.”

He struts to his team and laughs at something mohawk has said, as though he wasn’t just dwelling in his sorrows not even a minute before. Teenage boys confuse me. 

“Once you’ve eaten, go back to your cabin for showers so we can study!” Takeda calls, clearly in the middle of enjoying his meal. I look around, everyone is still in the middle of eating, all in conversations and they look like they could be a while. This could be the perfect time for me to shower in private. 

I throw out my food on the way back to the cabin, feeling the night air on my bare skin and I walk faster, craving the warmth of the water. All the lights are off inside the cabin, the building eerily quiet and it’s a sense of relief. I’ve been surrounded all day and it feels perfect to be on my own for a while, and I know I won’t get a lot of that over the next few weeks. I take my clothes from my bag, grabbing the toiletries that I need as well as my towel and I leave for the bathroom. 

There is a noise. Soft and smooth, like honey. There is someone humming in the bathroom. 

“Hello?” The sound stops short and I see Tanaka’s head pop around the corner of the shower stall.

“Shit! Hey, Ennoshita! Didn’t hear you come in.” He rubs the back of his head again, keeping his body out of my vision but it’s too late, I can already imagine the water running down his back, between his shoulder blades- Oh my gosh, Ennoshita! Stop it you pervert!

“I can come back?”

“Don’t be silly, It’s just a shower. Besides, I need help to wash my back anyway,” He did not? He wants me intentionally near his back? Well, he doesn’t know your impure thoughts! “Ennoshita?” 

“Sure, sure.” I place my things in the stall beside his. Breathe, Ennoshita, just breathe. It’s just Tanaka. The guy who helped you out on the bus today and protected you from Kuroo. 

“I don’t bite, unless you want me to.” And he laughs, the sound alone makes my toes curl and my heart skip. Why is he making me feel this way? This is so much for just one day! 

“I prefer not to be bit.” Look north not south, do not look at Tanaka’s ass.

“That’s okay, you can bite me instead.” His lame attempt at a joke makes me drop my head in embarrassment and dear god his ass is perfect what the hell! How is someone’s ass that round? 

“If you want your back washed I wouldn’t make me uncomfortable.” I take the loofah from his hand, the sponge already lathered in soap and I begin to scrub his back. Imagining the water running down his back was bad enough but seeing it? I’ve seen Tanaka without a shirt plenty, but I’m normally scolding him and telling him to put it back on, so to be able to see it up close, I’m awestruck with how beautiful he is. His body is sculpted from God himself, giving him all the right dips and curves, strong and gentle all at once. His shoulder is a light shade of purple, already bruising from today’s fall and my heart catches in my throat. 

“Didn’t realise I made you feel so many things, Ennoshita.” I laugh, and I feel his muscles relax under my hand.

“You wish you did.” In the stall, alone in the empty house, just the two of us, this feels intimate and I know my mind is playing tricks on me. He helped me out this morning and now I’m seeing him naked. It’s throwing me off.

“Damn, you’ve discovered my secret agenda. I brought you in here, so I could woo you with my charming body and take advantage of you.” I scoff at him, handing him back the loofah and looking at the shower tiles.

“Back’s clean.” 

“Why thank you kind sir.” 

I go into my stall, turning on the tap, hot water squirting out of the faucet and burning my skin. For a moment, we are left in silence. Just the sound of water hitting the tiles filling the quiet and I take the time to wash off. Surprisingly, my peach bodywash doesn’t compare to Tanaka’s ordinary vanilla, I want the scent to consume me. 

“How did you guys go today? With the matches, I mean.” 

“We won the first match.”

“Really?” The excitement in his voice is contagious, the emotion bubbling up within me as well.

“Yeah, it was awesome! Sucks you couldn’t be there though.” I can hear him laugh quietly, the sound like music to my ears.

“It’s all good, I’ve got these super sick bruises now. Did you see?” 

“I saw. Of course, you’re excited to have a nasty bruise like that.”

“I mean, it’s a pretty sick bruise.” This time I can’t help but laugh. Simple. Tanaka is simple. A boy who takes strange pride in a bruise from a sporting injury. 

“He said sorry. About hurting you.” 

Tanaka grows silent, which unsettles me. For him to think about what he is saying, he must be holding back a lot of what he wishes he could say. “Did he apologise for anything else?”

“Just for hurting you. I’m sure he’s sorry about everything else too.”

“Chika, you are going to make an amazing captain.”

The statement catches me off guard, pausing my movements and I feel my stomach get giddy. “What makes you say that?”

“Just…just the way you say things, and you do things. The way you back everyone up all the time and make us stronger, you know? You already do so much for the team without even realising it. I know you make me a stronger player. You care for us and you just want us to be safe all the time and you help us. Not just with volleyball stuff but how many afternoons have you helped Noya and I study? Hinata and Kageyama? You help us all the time and with you being our captain, things are going to be good next year.”

I can feel the tears well in my eyes. He’s sincere, not thinking about what he says but saying them anyway. He has the best intensions and god damnit, this is why my feelings are playing up. Because he says sweet things like this to toy with my emotions. Why do you have to be so sweet? 

“What are friends for, if not to be there for each other?” 

Tanaka’s tap turns off, mine the only sound within the room. “I guess you’re right.” 

“Tanaka, you in the bathroom?” I can hear Noya’s voice from outside the bathroom stall and I drop my head. There goes the moment.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.” Then there is movement, Tanaka most likely drying off and putting on his shower shoes and pjs while I stand under the water, pretending not to be here anymore. 

As the door shuts behind him, my head falls to the tiled wall, feeling the water go cold against my back. Today has already been such a long day. And I still have to study. Fuck.


	2. Party Offerings and Mutant Bees'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If Daichi wants to tell us about what’s going on than that’s his decision. Just like if you wanted everyone to know you’re in love with Tanaka. Not that it isn’t already obvious.”
> 
> “I am not in love with Tanaka!”
> 
> “Please! You can’t stop staring at him with those lovey dovey eyes! I swear I almost seen you drool.”

Friday  
“Rise and shine, shit-heads – Ow!”

“What have I said about calling everyone shit-heads, Noya?”

“Sorry captain.”

Around me there is movement. Teens with tired eyes are getting up from their slumber and if any feel the way I do, they want to stay in bed all day. Sitting up proved to be a challenge, body sluggish from my restless sleep and I’m glad I don’t have a mirror. I’m a mess.

“You guys have 10 minutes to get dressed and ready for breakfast. Cafeteria is our first stop.” Daichi’s voice seems to boom through the small room, making us all quicken our pace. Well, all of us besides Tanaka.

Without intention, my eyes went straight to him. He remains blissfully asleep, face and muscles relaxed in his slumber and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so at peace. And then there is Asahi. Wide-eyed and terrified as he looks down at Tanaka, who has somehow ended up cuddled against the sleeping giant during the night. The situation would have been funny enough to take a picture if Nishinoya hadn’t ruined the moment.

“Lay off Asahi, you fuck!” With a swift kick to his legs – one of which I’m sure will leave a bruise – Tanaka opens his eyes. The kick alone wasn’t enough to hurt him, but it was certainly a clear wake-up call. Asahi looks relieved to have Tanaka grovelling all over him whereas Tanaka looks plain confused. The look he portrays causes me to give a small laugh and I don’t miss the way he glances over at the sound.   
Hoping he doesn’t catch onto the fact that it was him that caused me to laugh, I look away. I need to get ready and I’m not trapping myself with my weird thoughts of Tanaka today.

___

I’m one of the first in the cafeteria, Daichi and Suga are sitting alone at a table, eating their breakfast while going over what I assume is today’s game-plan. On the other side of the cafeteria is Mowhawk, Bokuto, Kenma and Kuroo, all laughing as food is being tossed to each other, an obvious mess for the cleaner later and I keep my eyes to the ground. Today is going to be easy. No un-necessary drama. All you have to do is get your food and continue to be invisible, easy peasy. See, already at the counter, now I just need to order and –

“Looking a little lost there, you okay?” Of course. Nothing is simple here, I keep seeming to forget that. I don’t need to look up to know Kuroo is the one beside me, close enough that I can feel the heat that radiates off his body.

“I’m fine.” Good, leave no room for conversation. Where is the bloody staff?

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Cool. Well, if you wanted breakfast, there’s a self-service table next to your precious Captains. Although, you would know that if you weren’t too busy avoiding eye-contact with everyone and looked up.” His words cause my head to turn straight to where Daichi and Suga are sitting, and sure enough, just beyond them is a table full of steaming sausages, egg, bacon and toast, waiting to be consumed. My face flushes with embarrassment and I finally meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry for being so rude, thank you.”

Kuroo has a smirk on his face, stepping into my bubble and crossing his arms as he leans down to my height. “You can make it up to me by coming to a party tomorrow.”

“A- a party?” Why on Earth would Kuroo Tetsuro want me to go to a party with him?

“Yeah, a party. You know, a social gathering between people-“

“I know what a party is, what I don’t know is why you want me to go to one.” Kuroo’s eyes light up at that, and my mind screams at me to run.

“Well, you are going to be Karasuno’s captain next year-“

“We don’t know that for sure-“

He continues as though I didn’t speak, talking with such confidence I almost believe him. “And selfishly a couple of us would like to know what we are leaving our team up against. What better way to get to know a captain then by socialising with them in an out-of-team social event?”

He makes mild sense. The best day to get to know me would be away from the court, but speaking in a volleyball point of view wouldn’t the best way to get to know my skills and attributes as a captain would in the game?

“I don’t know,” Kuroo steps into my personal bubble, and something about the way that he looks down at me causes me to stay in place.

“At the end of the day, the offer is there. You don’t have to go if the offer makes you un-comfortable. We gave the invitation to Sawamura once, we thought we’d extend it to you.”

I release a breath I didn’t know I had been holding. There isn’t any pressure, he’s given me an out of the situation and-

“Wait, Daichi has been to one of these?” Kuroo licks his lip, slowly, tauntingly. I begin to feel awfully like a lamb being calculated by a lion.

“We’d love for you to come tomorrow,” Kuroo turns, edging himself away before glancing at me from over his shoulder. “No pressure.”

Are the walls closing in on me? What is happening?

I make my way over to a food table, finding more players scattered around the cafeteria, talking in small groups and I have the sudden urge to close in on myself. The room has filled up quicker than I thought and with the minimal space in here, everyone will be pushed together, not an idea scenario. As quick as I can, I store food onto an empty plastic plate and hurry to a vacant table, only to have Nishinoya and Asahi join me as soon as my ass hits the seat.

“Thanks for saving us a seat!” Noya smiles wide at me, showing full teeth and the image of Noya being…well, Noya, sooths my nerves.

“Sure thing, Noya.”

Just as I take a bite of my toast, I hear Noya whisper to Asahi, “See! I got him to call me Noya instead of Nishonya.” The innocence behind it all makes me smile. It’s easy to feel good about myself when Noya is easily impressed and from the small smile Asahi gives to him in return, I know that the libero’s happiness is contagious.

“Sorry I took so long, bastards are hogging the line.” At least I assume that’s what Tanaka is saying as he chews a mouth full of food, plate stacked with double the amount that is on my own and he sits across from me, eyes glancing at me for a second. Don’t you dare get butterflies stomach!

“What bastards?” Noya asks, perhaps a little too loudly and gaining the attention of a few surrounding people and I want to bury myself under Tanaka’s plate of food.

“Could you be any louder, Noya?” I ask, feeling myself burn red as I turn to look at the line anyway. Oikawa is chatting happily to Kuroo and I find myself intrigued. I never would have imagined the two of them to be friendly?

“Since when were they friends?” The question slips out of my mouth without much thought and in the corner of my eye, I see Tanaka look at me again. Really look at me. Not a glance. His face is showing obvious signs of confusion at my words and I avoid his gaze, purposefully maintaining my eye contact on the unusual duo.

“Since they got a common goal.” Noya sounds angry as he talks, and he stabs his egg, body growing tight with anger.

“What the hell are you on about?” Asahi gives me a look of apology, saying nothing as he takes the fork out of Noya’s hand and I imagine he is fighting the urge to spoon feed Noya to avoid breaking the fork.

“It’s nothing. Some stupid shit that doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s a prick and he royally messed up my face.” For the first time today, I really look at him. His jaw, while still sharp enough to cut me, is swollen and purple, showing proof of his interaction with a volleyball to the face yesterday. If that was his face, I could only imagine how much worse his shoulder has gotten. The thought of it reminds me of the shower, how it looked like it was pulsing in pain as I was scrubbing his back and dear god, do not think about that now!

“Yesterday you thought that bruise made you look cool.” I remind him, shoving a piece of bacon in my mouth before I do something stupid like admit he has a cute butt.

“Well, that was before I woke up and realised how much of a mark it left.”

“You are still as handsome as ever, tell him Chika.” I want to stab Noya. I want to stab him so bad right now. It’s just some words between friends, so why is the idea of telling him that he’s handsome is making me want to set myself on fire.

“Very handsome. I’m sure girls will be flocking down their doors to see it.” As soon as I say it, I regret it. Why did I say that!? Tell me why? The table is left in a state of awkward silence, all of us chewing mindfully on our food and I don’t know if what I said to Tanaka was a good or a bad thing.

“What’s with the silence?” I almost breathe out a sigh of relief as I spot Kinoshita and Narita, joining us with plates of their own.

“Just waiting for the life of the party to get here!” Just like that, Noya validates them and the table falls into conversation. Mostly into conversation. I hardly pay attention to what the others are saying, mostly drowning in my own self-pity and I have suddenly lost my appetite.

  
___

Karasuno are on fire.   
By lunch, we have won over half of our matches, the team radiates with a force of positive vibes.

“That last match was so good, you guys!” Nishinoya nods his head excitedly at my comment, somewhat occupied by downing an entire bottle of water, making Asahi chuckle.

“Do you have enough water there, Noya?” Asahi’s eyes glimmer as he stares down at the libero.

Noya finishes his bottle, gasping for breath, wiping his mouth lazily with the back of his hand. “Not nearly, I’m still a dying man over here, Asahi. Hey, what’s up, Ryu?”

Wordlessly, Asahi passes his still full bottle of water to Noya, the object ripped from the giant’s hands. At this point, Noya might be made up of only water. Tanaka saunters his way over and DEAR GOD WHY IS HE NOT WEATING A SHIRT?!

“You might want to rug up, we don’t want you getting sick?” That’s right Ennosita. Look right at the floor, not at Tanaka. Don’t give him the satisfaction! Why am I even avoiding this? It’s a shirtless Tanaka, not like I’ve never seen him without a shirt before! Why are things suddenly so different?

“I wouldn’t want to miss giving everyone a show now would we, Chika?” Did it suddenly get hot in here?

“If a show is you getting hypothermia, then yes, you have succeeded.”

“C’mon, lighten up, Chika. It’s just a little skin.” I allow myself a glance, as though his word alone is enough to prove that he is right, but all I welcome is a burning sensation humming through my body. This is not A LITTLE SKIN! Besides his sneakers, his gym shorts, his knee pads and a wet cloth on the back of his neck, the bald man is bare. As I’ve noticed before, Tanaka is made of muscle. There wouldn’t be an inch of fat on him, body completely solid. His stomach is contoured to the gods, showcasing a heavenly six pack that a weak part of me can’t help but admit that it wants to lick. His shoulders are broad and wide, making him stand taller and more confident. Even his legs are somehow attractive, strong and sturdy from his years of jumping. All I can imagine is how it would feel for that leg to be wrapped around mine, his whole body encasing me- JESUS CHIRST ENNOSHITA! WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?

“If you get sick, I don’t want to see a single complaint. I’ve warned you.” Keep focused on his face, not his body. Good job, Ennoshita.

“Yeah, yeah,” I want to punch his stupidly good-looking face. Asahi and Noya are looking at us with wide eyes and I wonder what it is they see. Could they tell me what it is? I’m so confused.

I almost do something stupid, like ask them, when Daichi appears behind us.

“Could you guys give Ennoshita and I a moment, please?” Silently, the three musketeers glance between themselves, almost as though they are going to stay but Tanaka surprises me.

“Sure thing, Cap!” He gives Noya a playful clap on the shoulder, taking off the cloth from around his neck and laughing as he wraps it around mine.   
It means nothing, but the knowledge that he has had his hands wrapped around this material, sweated in this material, I want to bury myself in it.

“Are you okay?” Daichi raises a thick eyebrow at me, confusion written all over his features.

“Yes! Of course, what’s wrong?” Could you get any more lame, Ennoshita? Get a grip!

“I wanted to talk to you about Kuroo.” Wait…what?

“Kuroo? Why Kuroo?” What is happening? First Daichi and Kuroo were about to tear each other’s faces off yesterday with the tension surrounding them, then Tanaka got the brunt of the attack. This morning he mentions Daichi being involved in their…group?....clique?...posse? And then Nishinoya get defensive of even the mention of him? What is it with the lanky, cat-eyed man that has Karasuno in a knot?

“Nothing serious. You saved my ass interrupting us yesterday. Not sure where that would have gone or what I would have done, so thank you,” Funnily enough, Suga said a similar thing.

“So what did you want to ask me?” I can’t help but feel the rise of panic in my stomach, an upset roaring of butterflies in my stomach, and not the kind that I get around Tanaka – what am I talking about? What butterflies?

“What was he talking to you about this morning?” Does Daichi not want me to know about this gang? he is involved in? What is with all the secrets? And why do I suddenly want to add to them?

“Just trying to get under my skin, he tried yesterday and failed. He probably just wanted to try his luck today.” Since when do you lie to your captain?

Daichi raises his other brow, not seeming to believe me but also not having any reason to second guess my response.

“Kuroo can be very clever, stay weary of him. For your own sake.”

What the hell is happening in this school? I really have stepped into an alternate universe!

The second Daichi walks away, I’m joined by Kinoshita and Narita, laughing at something amongst themselves and I find my hands are shaking.

“You okay, man?” Narita is the first to acknowledge my lack of response in their conversation, causing Kinoshita to pay attention.

“I…don’t know?” All of these things are running through my head. Is Kuroo making a ploy against me? Is he just being friendly? What is up with him and Daichi? Is Suga somehow involved? Since when is Kuroo and Oikawa friendly? Does Kuroo have something against Tanaka? Or was their “feud” something to do with Daichi? Or Suga? Or me? What is happening between Tanaka and I? Before I stepped foot onto that bus he was the loud-mouthed, bald-headed man on my volleyball team, who I occasionally helped study for a test he would barely pass. Something has changed, now he’s the loud-mouthed, bald-headed man on my volleyball team who I occasionally help study for a test he will barely pass, and I think about licking his abs and holding his hands. I bet they would feel strong in mine, fingers wrapped so tightly around mine that I could imaging we could blink and become one entire being. What the hell has this school done to me?

“You look pretty pale man, maybe you should get a drink?”

I absently nod my head, numbly walking towards the stand of water bottles, grabbing one of the remaining few and taking small sips, feeling it fall onto an empty stomach after I threw out my breakfast this morning. So many things, so many things, running through my head. I just want to know what all this means, what’s happening to me. Am I over-reacting? Is there something that I can’t see?

“Looking a little lost there, Ennoshita.” Beside me, Asahi arrives, a warm and tentative smile on his face, a single strand of hair fallen out of his bun and hangs in his golden face. Asahi is his own kind of beautiful, a strong body that’s cloaked in fear of rejection, of knowingness. He doesn’t want to be seen, to be judged, but his tall figure and hairstyle prevents it. I couldn’t imagine the gentle giant any other way though.

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind that’s all.” I rub the palm of my hand over my eye, feeling the sudden mental exhaustion slipping.

“Yeah, I have a lot on my mind too. What’s going to happen after Nationals? Are we good enough to win this year? Who will we be versing against?” Right, all volleyball related. Things I should be thinking about, not this nonsense. “Will I get accepted into University? What do I even want to study? Will my parents be proud of me? Will I be able to find a job? Will I remain friends with you guys? Will I ever see my team again? Will I ever stop being so afraid of what people think of me? Will I ever be proud of myself? Will I still have Daichi and Suga? Will I be okay without Noya everyday? How much harder will life be when I graduate? Will I leave with good grades? Will I die tomorrow? Could I die right no-“

“Woah, sounds like you’re thinking of a lot more stuff than I am right now. Are you okay?” Sheepishly, Asahi rubs the back of his neck, in a similar way to Tanaka, and I burn remembering the cloth on the back of my neck. Instinctively, I touch the tips of the damp ends, feeling the colour rise to my cheeks.

“Sorry, I got carried away. I’m fine, really. I just didn’t want you to think that you’re the only one going through stuff, we all have issues and reality to face, it doesn’t make us alone.” Asahi looks at his shoes shyly, rubbing them back and forth across the line of the court and my heart swells at the sight.

“Thank you, Asahi. I appreciate it. I know I’ve got the team, that I’ve got my friends, that I have you.” At this, the giant looks at me, positively beaming with excitement.

“You can come to me anytime you need me. You’re always helping everyone else, especially Noya and Tanaka.” And here comes the butterflies.

“You help them both way more than I do-“

“Oh, trust me. You help them both a lot more than you realise. They would have surely failed school without you by now. You calm them down, keep them grounded. We’re all grateful for you, Ennoshita. That’s why you’ll make a great Captain.” My god, the blushing won’t stop!

“I couldn’t imagine that I calm them down,” I find that this is all I can say, my throat tightening with emotions and words I want to suppress, giving a nervous laugh.

“I guess you wouldn’t know. You only ever see them when they are around you.”

Those words hit me deeper than I realise. It’s true. With my own eyes, I only ever see the way they act when I’m around. I’ve never seen them alone, how they act in their own homes or in the company of just each other. This goes for everyone I’ve ever known. I only see the way they react when I’m around. Do people react differently around me?

Grey eyes find mine, and the butterflies spawn into mutant bees, completely swarming my stomach and I find myself in pain. What is happening? From across the court, Tanaka is looking at me from behind a net, getting into play for his next match, and I should tell Asahi that he is probably needed, but I can’t find it within me to say. Not when those grey eyes are brewing up a storm so violent in my stomach that I feel I could vomit my emotions.

“They’re about to start a new game, I better get in there. Think about what I said!” Quickly, Asahi runs across the court to the others, moving with such grace that I almost wish he would fall, so he could resemble a human like the rest of us rather than the angel he clearly is.

Grey eyes are still on mine, so focused and intense that I want to melt into a puddle on the floor. Reaching up, I grasp the ends of the cloth around my neck and I begin to hope that I have been marked, that Tanaka’s scent has left an un-spoken claim on me. That hope is short lived.

“Two times in one day, I really am such a lucky guy. What are you after, Kuroo?” Without looking away from Tanaka, I address the lanky giant that has rolled up beside me, hands on his hips and I’m sure a cocky smile on his lips.

“wow, such the heartbreaker, Ennoshita. I was wondering if you’ve thought any more on my offer?” I can hear the belittling in his voice, but I’m so desperate to find out answers that I didn’t even know that I had to care.

“You’re causing me a lot of problems, you know. No-one likes that you’ve started speaking to me.” I break my gaze from Tanaka, breaking my soul in the process, and I look up at the man in question. I was right, a cocky smile, right on his lips.

“Now, who would be so mad that I would want to talk to the guaranteed captain of Karasuno next year?” He doesn’t give me the decency to look at me, only a side glance here and there but his vision remains on the game that has just started between Karasuno and AobaJohsai.

“It’s not guaranteed.” He remains stoic, saying nothing in response and the silence aggravates me. “Why? Who would you think would get mad?”

Kuroo purses his lips, clearly amused by my frustration and the idea of it makes me want to stomp my foot like a child. “Maybe your friends, maybe your current captain, maybe your boyfriend-“

“Tanaka is not my boyfriend.” The words are out before I think to stop them, the shock of my words leaving my body back to its previous state. What was I thinking? Trick question, I wasn’t thinking! Delighted at my outburst, Kuroo finally looks at me with his cat-like eyes, full of secrets I would kill to know.

A ball slams right between us, causing me to jump back, hand clutched to my racing heart and I look towards the sender. Tanaka is glaring daggers right through Kuroo, and I can feel the anger radiating from here.

“My bad. My hand slipped.”

I can hear Takeda yelling about how he could “slip that far” but I am distracted by Tanaka, how angry he looks and how the bruise on his cheeks seems to almost glow against his cheek as he stares at the attacker.

“Funny how you knew who I was talking about.”

  
\---

“I swear this place is place is haunted.”

Couldn’t agree with you more, Kinoshita. The three of us are sitting on the front porch, watching the sun lower into the ground as we procrastinate going inside to study with the others. We’re all top of our classes anyway, more or less.

“It’s just shit luck.” Narita argues, leaning back against his hands and kicking his legs out.

“This place is haunted, isn’t it, Ennoshita?” Both eyes are expectantly on me, and I really wish they weren’t.

“Not haunted as in serial killer ghost haunted, but haunted as in some weird shit is going on? Yeah, this place is haunted.” Pleased with my response, Kinoshita sticks his tongue out at Narita, who nudges the other with his foot in return.

“You two are just gullible. Ain’t nothing freaky happening here.”

“Ennoshita has become wildly popular since coming here.”

“How so?”

“As if you don’t know, Ennoshita. Since you first stepped off that bus you have had Kuroo wrapped around your finger.”

“He is not wrapped around my finger-“

“Then what were you guys talking about in the cafeteria today?”

“He just wanted to see if I would spill our techniques.”

“Yeah, and we just happen to play on court everyday.” I could almost feel that eyeroll.

“He did!”

“Why do you have to lie? What? Do you think we’re going to get jealous?” More like disappointed.

“He invited me to a party. One he has invited Daichi too before and I’m thinking about going.”

“Why the hell would you go right into the lion’s den?” Someone else has referred to him as a lion?

“He just knows some things that I want intel on.”

“What kind of things?”

“Captaincy kind of things.”

“I didn’t think you were so sure you were going to get it?”

“I’m not.”

“Then why are you going?”

“It’s good to be prepared!”

“Then why not ask Daichi?”

“It’s good to have multiple perspectives.”

“Does that mean you are going to ask Oikawa Toru?”

“If he is there and the conversation arises.”

“Why do you think Oikawa will be at Kuroo’s party?”

“Stranger things have happened.”

“Or you just know something and won’t tell us.”

“I just seen Kuroo and Oikawa talking today. They’re both captains, it would make sense that they crossed paths and became friendly.”

“Captains of rival teams, it doesn’t make sense.”

“They seem to know a lot about Daichi.”

“Knowing something about someone doesn’t make them friends.”

“Daichi has been really weird since we got here, don’t you want to know why?”

“If Daichi wants to tell us about what’s going on than that’s his decision. Just like if you wanted everyone to know you’re in love with Tanaka. Not that it isn’t already obvious.”

“I am not in love with Tanaka!”

“Please! You can’t stop staring at him with those lovey dovey eyes! I swear I almost seen you drool.”

“I have not. I’ve barely even spoken to him since I’ve been here!”

“You’ve spoken with him more than you’ve spoken to us and we’re your best friends.”

“I’ve been with you guys every second of every day.”

“Physically, but mentally you’re in Tanaka-land. You may be with us all the time but you talk more to him and his merry crew.”

“What’s wrong with talking to them? I’ve always been friendly with them.”

“Nothing is wrong with it, and nothing is wrong with you talking to Tanaka. What’s wrong is you pretending like something is happening when something clearly is.”

“Nothing is happening.”

“Not yet.”

“I really don’t like you guys right now.”

“Why? Because we’re telling you the truth you don’t want to hear? People lie, pretending sucks and love feels like a blow to the guts. There, the truth is in a rhyme.”

I go to retort, feeling the blood boil in my veins when the door opens, alarming us with a squeal.

“Sorry to disturb you guys. Ennoshita, we’re really struggling here, can you come help us?” Nishinoya stands at the door wearing a baggy black tee that’s big enough it could be mistaken for Asahi’s and long grey sweats. His hair is damp from being recently washed, hanging around his face and the missing volume makes him seem smaller. I want to squeal and squish his cheeks.

“Sure.” I give the others what I hope is an evil eye as I follow Noya inside, kicking off my shoes at the door and walking with him down the hall. The house is alive with numerous hums and clearly annoyed groans coming from worn out teens with textbooks.

Around a singular table is Hinata, Kageyama and Tanaka, I’m sure Noya was involved in the group, the seniors at a table of their own. They all look relieved as I arrive, Noya taking his place beside Kageyama, leaving the only spare seat next to Tanaka.

“He needs the most help.”

“No I don’t dumbass! I know what I am doing!” Noya just laughs, very obviously looking behind him to see what Tsukishima is writing down to copy. I give him a light pat on the head as I sit down, aggressively aware of how close I am to Tanaka and I am reminded of how bare we were last night in the showers. The memory alone makes my toes curl.

“C’mon. We’ll work together.”

And we do, it’s chaotic working with the four of them at once, but we manage without crying or tearing each other’s hair out. The equations were easy enough, what was hard was being so close to Tanaka and trying to stop myself from thinking about it. Is it that obvious? Can everyone see it? See what, exactly? What is going on inside my own head?

“Can we just take a break? I just want to go to bed.” Tanaka lays his head on the table, turned to the side and facing me with his eyes wide open.

“Then it wouldn’t be a break, we’d be stopping.”

He smirks, and my stomach explodes. “I’d be okay with that.”

“You need to at least finish the page.” I try to shake the paper out from under his arm that lays across the table, but he beats to it, sitting upright and holding the sheet behind his back, eyes glimmering with a challenge.

“You need to grab it first.”

“What do you expect me to do? Fight you for it?” He shrugs, with that same glimmer in his eye and the feeling is contagious. I attempt to reach behind him to grab the sheet but he scoots back quicker than I anticipated.

“You are playing a dangerous game, Tanaka.” Noya’s voice peeks from behind me, but I’m too focused on strategies to listen to the warning. I rise onto my knees, quickly sliding across the floor and around him but he spins while remaining on the floor, barely an inch between us but he still has the sheet behind his back, withholding me from taking it and I feel myself having fun. I’ve been stressing about things beyond my control all day, it feels good to let lose and to enjoy myself. To have fun with Tanaka.

Like a snake charmer, he slowly moves his head in a shape of an S, mine following his and when his head is the furthest away from his body I react, instead of going around him, I try a different approach, one he clearly doesn’t expect. I lean forward, wrapping my arm around his, feeling his body react to mine and there is such heat that I feel like I’m being burned as Tanaka falls back, hands reaching out to catch himself and I end up on top of him, straddling his waist and I’m suddenly gasping, feeling heat and embarrassment flush through me. I’m sitting on top of Tanaka. And it feels good? And he isn’t pushing me off? Get off! Get off! Get off!

I climb over him, taking the sheet as I go and leaving him lying on the floor as I sit back in my spot, placing the half-filled paper on the desk. He remains lying on the floor, or so I assume, I don’t turn back to look at him, but we have certainly caught the attention of the room.

“Got the sheet.” I say stupidly, as though no-one saw me basically assault Tanaka.

“No shit.” Thanks for the commentary Noya. Needed that.

“I think it’s time we go to bed.” Daichi calls and I’m one of the first out of my seat, making my way out of the room as though it’ll burn to the ground if I don’t. Already dressed in my PJs, I go straight to my futon, throwing my phone on charge in the corner and hiding under my covers before anyone else even enters the room.

By the time the team leaves the study room and arrives into the bedroom, the moment is already seemingly forgotten, another topic floating around the room and for that I am thankful. One by one, everyone stumbles into their assigned futons until there are four spaces empty. I wonder what they’re doing? And why is Daichi with them?

Minutes go by until they all walk into the room, and Tanaka appears to be in a bad mood as he grabs his pillow and blanket, glaring daggers right through Noya as he comes beside me, picking up his own.

“I have to swap with Ryu. He really freaked out Asahi last night and we don’t want to risk it happening again.”

So Tanaka is pissed that he has to sleep next to me? Did I upset him so much? Holy crap, what have I done?

The swap takes less than a minute, Tanaka throwing down his pillow and laying back, staring straight at the ceiling as he half-heartedly covers himself with the blanket.

“You’ll catch a cold if you don’t rug up.”

“I’ve been told.”

Well, that was a kick to the gut.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t mean to.” My words come out so quietly that Tanaka has the move closer to hear me, and I don’t miss the way my heart reacts.

“I’m not upset with you.”

A pause. “Angry?”

“No. I’m not angry either.”

“Are you anything?”

“I’m just so tired, Chika. I really am.”

“Maybe you should get some sleep?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

And he really does sound tired, worn out for his hard days of practice and hard nights of studying. It must be hard to keep up with it all.

“Goodnight, Tanaka.”

A pause.

“Goodnight, Chika.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one isn't as long as the first chapter but I have so much planned for the next chapter! This was more of a filler and to see how Ennoshita was doing with the other characters!  
> Let me know what you guys think:
> 
> Love it?
> 
> Hate it?
> 
> Want to know me?
> 
> Leave a comment down below and tell me what you guys think and something you might even want to happen?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of the reboot of the series.  
> I hope you guys like it and let me know if you prefer this or the original !


End file.
